I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
