3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize