ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
