dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
