I want to have your abortion
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
