maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I DEMAND FORESKIN
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
