found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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