I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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