What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
