yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
