Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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