and you said cock pushups were impossible
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
