I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The cops high fived after they tackled you
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
