Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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