She is in my trunk
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Randomize
