help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
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His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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