White coat. Heels.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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