I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
