Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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