i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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