Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
