Umm I'm too high to move.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
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It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
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No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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