Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
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