there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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