I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
