I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
