Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
