Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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