WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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