I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
