what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
