once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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