Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
