Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
how drunk are you?
Several
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
