remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
