My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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