So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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