one two three fourrrrnication!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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