I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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