The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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