Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
