i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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