there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
