He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
