On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
