I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize