Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
