Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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