mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
tell me about the eggs
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
