i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just tell him i said nine months
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Randomize
