the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I want to be your penis for a week.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
