Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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