cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
